In the fast-paced world we live in, stress is an all-too-familiar companion. Many of us have developed coping mechanisms for the big-ticket stressors – those life events like work pressures, family commitments, or unexpected challenges that require immediate attention. But what about the little things? The traffic that made you late for an appointment. Your partner forgetting to put the bins out after being asked multiple times. Annoying scam calls that come at the worst times.
These tiny, seemingly insignificant irritations that pile up throughout the day are known as microstressors, and while they may not seem like much, collectively, they can leave you feeling drained, anxious, and overwhelmed.
Not so trivial
You may not have heard the term before, but you’ve no doubt experienced it. Originally coined by US researchers Rob Cross and Karen Dillon, microstressors can be so subtle that we barely notice them, yet they chip away at our energy and mental resilience.
“These moments of stress are so brief that our brains barely register that it happened, but at the same time, our bodies do,” explains Karen, co-author of The Microstress Effect. “Our bodies respond to microstress in the same way they respond to bigger forms of stress, except a key difference is our body doesn’t invoke its fight or flight mechanism, yet we still experience all the other physiological symptoms of stress like increased heart rate, hastened breathing and elevated cortisol levels.”
Unlike major stressors such as caring for an ill relative or mounting debt, microstressors often seem trivial, which makes them easy to brush off. However, over time, their cumulative impact can become substantial. “When it comes to macrostress, we know how to talk about it and seek help, but microstress feels so small and insignificant we don’t even have the language to describe it. Never mind ask for help or solutions to it.”
Think of microstress as tiny drops of water filling a glass. One or two drops won’t make a difference, but if you continue to add more, eventually the glass will overflow. Microstressors work in much the same way, and because they’re often not addressed, they can lead to burnout, fatigue, and irritability.
For example, someone who tends to people-please might avoid speaking up when a colleague constantly interrupts them in meetings.
“In the moment, it might feel easier to stay silent and let it slide, thinking, ‘It’s not a big deal, I’ll let it go’. But over time, repeated interruptions build up – leading to frustration, feeling undervalued, and eventually, emotional exhaustion,” explains Sheena Schuy, a therapist and business mentor specialising in burnout and anxiety.
How to spot the small stuff
The tricky part about microstress is that it often flies under the radar. These stressors tend to be quick and fleeting, leaving us little time to process or even realise we’re feeling stressed. However, once you notice them, it’s easier to see patterns and address them, says Sheena.
“Becoming aware of these patterns helps you pause, recognise your needs, and choose to advocate for yourself before the weight becomes overwhelming. It’s about catching the small things before they accumulate into something that feels unmanageable.”
Some common examples include:
Constant interruptions: Ever notice how frustrating it is when you’re trying to concentrate on a task, and someone keeps interrupting you? Whether it’s someone at work, a phone notification, or your kids asking a quick question when you’re in the middle of something, these small disruptions can leave you feeling scattered and unfocused.
Vague expectations: Being given a task without clear instructions or guidance can leave you feeling uncertain about how to proceed. This uncertainty adds to your mental load as you try to figure out what’s expected.
Minor disagreements: Not every argument needs to be a major blow-up. Sometimes, a slight tension in a conversation or a disagreement that’s left unresolved can weigh on your mind throughout the day.
Time pressures: Ever find yourself rushing to finish a task before a deadline, only to feel like you’re constantly racing against the clock? These micro-moments of time pressure, especially when they happen repeatedly, can elevate stress levels.
Decision fatigue: From choosing what to wear in the morning to deciding what to cook for dinner, the number of small decisions we make every day can become exhausting. Over time, this decision fatigue can lead to feelings of mental overload.
Microstressors can also come from our relationships. Sometimes, the people we love and interact with on a daily basis can unintentionally cause stress through well-meaning but overbearing behaviours or when expectations (like emotional availability or responsiveness) are not aligned.
It’s the little things – like a text that feels passive-aggressive or a backhanded, hurtful comment – that build up and leave us feeling frazzled, explains Sheena.
“Unlike tasks on a to-do list, relationships are emotionally charged, making it harder to detach. When someone we care about is unintentionally dismissive or demanding, it stings because of our emotional investment. Additionally, there’s often an unspoken expectation to tolerate it because we love the person involved.”
When micro becomes macro
If you do find life’s stressors piling up to the point you’re on the brink of burnout, Diane Young, a trauma specialist and psychotherapist at South Pacific Private, says there are some key signs to look out for.
“Stress and anxiety can show up in our bodies and our emotions in a variety of ways. Physically the symptoms may vary, and they may not happen all at once.”
Changes in mood: Difficulty concentrating, irritability, mood swings, and persistent brain fog can all be signs you’re reaching your limit, as can racing thoughts, excessive worry and overthinking. Be aware if you become frustrated and irritable when, under normal circumstances, you would be calmer and more measured in your approach.
Inflammation: Your joints and muscles may become inflamed, and you may experience muscle tightness and unusual aches and pains. You may also be diagnosed with high cholesterol and blood pressure, which can increase the risk of heart attack or stroke.
Gut issues: Our gut can tell us when we’re under extreme stress through various periods of indigestion, bloating, pain and discomfort. This can also lead to episodes of diarrhoea or constipation.
Frequent illness: Stress affects our immune system, and with decreased immune function comes a higher risk of becoming ill. It then takes longer to recover from those illnesses.
Know the difference
Many people confuse anxiety and stress with depression. The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) estimates that one in seven Australians will experience depression in their lifetime, and the World Health Organization estimates that depression will be the number one health concern in both developing and developed nations by 2030.
“Depression is a mental health disorder that is characterised by intense and persistent sadness, low mood and unusual and persistent moodiness,” explains Diane.
“It impairs the daily life of the sufferer and affects both mental and physical health. Depression can result in feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.”
People suffering from depression will often withdraw from family and friends, either sleeping too much or having an inability to sleep, and will have a loss of appetite or an increased appetite. This goes beyond a bad day or a stressful week.
“They may experience a lack of energy, an inability to concentrate, thoughts of suicide, feelings of guilt, and anger. It is not uncommon for sufferers to turn to alcohol, drugs or gambling to try to medicate and numb how they feel.”
Taking the pressure down
The first step in tackling microstress is recognising it. By acknowledging these small stressors for what they are, you take away some of their power. The key is to manage them before they snowball.
“Many tools we’re using to deal with stress, like yoga and exercise, help you chill out to the stress you’re facing, but what if you could remove some of those sources too?” asks Karen Dillon. “Removing even a couple of stressors can have a material impact on your everyday life. Look for something that’s recurring and happens all the time.”
If you’re feeling spent but unable to say why, take stock of everything you do in a day, week or month and look for sticky spots. “Microstress builds up quietly, and over time, it can drain your energy, trigger anxiety, or lead to burnout without you realising why,” says Sheena Schuy, who advises working with a therapist to help you identify the subtle patterns you might miss on your own.
“By understanding what’s fuelling these stress responses, you can shift out of default behaviours like overcommitting or people-pleasing and replace them with healthier coping mechanisms.”
- Identify your triggers
Reflect on your day. When do you feel a spike of tension, frustration, or anxiety? Is it when you’re interrupted, juggling too many tasks, or when you have unresolved conflicts? Identifying triggers helps to pre-emptively manage them. “Awareness gives you a chance to shift from reactive to proactive. Once you start noticing patterns of little issues you keep letting slide, you’re better equipped to pause and question them,” Sheena explains. - Set boundaries
One of the best ways to manage microstress is to set clear boundaries. If constant interruptions are a problem, consider scheduling focus time to work without distractions. For vague expectations, ask for clarification upfront. “Imagine someone who always feels rushed but never stops to ask why,” Sheena says. “Upon reflection, they may realise it’s because they’re overcommitting themselves and their schedule is filled with things that they don’t want to do but feel obligated to. Once aware, they can set firmer boundaries or schedule more breathing room.” - Connect with others
“Make sure you have connections with people who are outside of work and family,” advises Karen. “It could be as simple as a casual conversation with a neighbour or inviting someone for a barbecue. Our research found that these small moments played a significant role in the people who dealt with microstress the best and didn’t let it grind them down to a nub.” - Practise mindfulness
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing stress. By focusing on the present and letting go of worries about the future, you can prevent microstress building up. If meditation isn’t your thing, five minutes of deep breathing can reset your mental state. The 4-7-8 breathing technique involves breathing in for four seconds, holding the breath for seven seconds, and exhaling for eight seconds to help calm your nervous system. - Limit screen time
Screens are a major source of stress, especially when we’re bombarded with emails, social media updates, and news notifications. Set limits on your screen time, particularly in the evening, to give your brain a break. Resist the urge to reply to messages immediately, too. Technology is a big contributor to our urgency culture, but most things can wait until you’ve finished what you’re doing or you’re in the right headspace to action it. - Prioritise what makes you feel good
In a world that’s constantly ‘on’, it’s important to make relaxation a priority and carve out time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Whether it’s sitting outside with your coffee, reading a book in the bath, or listening to a podcast, these moments can help you recharge. Exercise can also effectively combat anxious thoughts. Moving releases endorphins that reduce stress, so pencil in a brisk walk, yoga class, or a high-energy sweat session.
If you need assistance call Lifeline, 13 11 14, or Beyond Blue, 1300 22 4636.
